A few things I want to teach my daughters despite not managing myself all the time.
1. Other people’s opinions of you is none of your business. Not everyone will love you, and that’s ok; you can’t and don’t need to change their mind. Concentrate on those that know you and like you for who you are.
2. Break ups aren’t just for relationships. If a friendship is only bringing you negative things in your life, if they make you doubt yourself or jump through hoops to please them, it can be a toxic relationship. There are so many good people in this world without having to stick around the ones that make you feel bad about yourself.
3. But similarly, cherish those friends who support you, love you and raise you up. And make sure you treat others that way. Judging or bitching about others only makes you ugly, not the victim of your judgement or bitchiness.
4. You never know the secret battles other people are fighting, always choose to be kind.
5. Life won’t pause and give you time to fret and worry. If you have wronged someone, own up to it, apologise and try and make amends if necessary. If you haven’t done anything wrong, move on, if the other person or people can’t, you’re not really their issue. Don’t compromise yourself to appease others or make yourself small just so that others can feel bigger.
6. The right thing to do won’t always be easier, but it’s always the best option. Don’t take the easy road, and you’ll regret your actions less.
7. Forgive others, we’re all human. And forgive yourself too.
8. Live and love passionately and without apology, enthusiasm and passion are two wonderful qualities that will make your life shine.
9. Don’t look at what other people think is ‘cool’ or ‘successful’, stay true to yourself, always follow your own path. Life’s too short to make decisions based on anyone else’s opinion.
10. You’ll fall in love and it will be wonderful, it will hurt, and it will change your life. Let yourself feel the good and the bad, every relationship will teach you something new, and it’s never worth loving in half measures. And don’t begrudge other people’s journeys that brought them to you. One day, the scars and marks in your heart from where you’ve been will match up with someone else’s and you’ll realise they fit together.
My darling daughters you taught me to love and to live and I hope I can help you both be as happy as you possibly can be. You will fail at all of the above at times and it’s ok. We’re all doing our best in this ridiculous world. And one day I won’t be with you, but the best parts of me will always be within you.