Sacred small steps…

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(NB.Post written last Thursday)
We did it! We ventured out! The four have started to explore! For the first time today, Holly at 12 days old; Mummy, Daddy, Scarlett and Holly bundled into the car, and headed off in a great adventure!
As it’s less than two weeks since the csection, I’m still a bit uncomfortable moving about too much, and can’t lift things. And as it was our first trip out, we didn’t want to do anything too crazy. BUT, we were off! It felt like a world tour I was so excited! Recovery from a csection is long and slow, so all progress is quite exciting (I’m yet to have a bath post birth, and am very excited for it!). 
Anyway, the four of us went to Over Farm where they were hosting all sorts of Easter activities, including puppet shows performed by a good friend of ours. Each show was ten minutes and we knew Scarlett would love it, which was why we chose that particular venue. Fresh air, see some animals, watch a show, off home!
And that’s exactly what we did! We were incredibly lucky. We had no temper tantrums from either, our excitement seemed to rub off on Scarlett and I think she was just happy to be out and about with both Mummy and Daddy, something that hasn’t happened outside of a hospital for a long time. 
We were only out for about an hour to ensure we didn’t push it on our first adventure! When we got home, I was shattered! But funny how the small things can feel like such a triumph. And especially when recovering from a csection, or when feeling even more like an amateur than usual; it’s important to concentrate on those little moments comrades! Managed to shower today for the first time with a new baby on your own? Awesome! I’m not being patronising, becoming a new Mum is having a constant, full time, life lasting job. When I had my first shower when on my own with Scarlett after she was born, it felt like a breakthrough, and it was! The first time you get through a day without being consciously unaware (that is to say without having to actively concentrate on every single thing you do, when normal daily activities start to become something you’re able to do almost on autopilot), that’s also a big triumph. It means you’re slowly but very surely getting the hang of things! And as a parent, none of us ever really ‘excel’ at it, we remain amateurs for life, so getting the hang of each stage is pretty much the big goal.
So a day out as a four piece was very exciting for us! And I for one enjoy celebrating the small triumphs, after all, as parents; we definitely spend enough beating ourselves up over the small mishaps or parts we haven’t quite mastered yet! The least we can do for ourselves (and remind each other of) is the victories we amass each day! 
I haven’t had the two girls on my own yet, that’s one of my big milestones, and one I’m nervous about. Csection recovery has delayed it even being attempted as I’m not supposed to lift our oldest for another week or so, and we’re in the lucky enough that my husband has been able to take enough time off work to cover the first month of Holly’s life! But when I do, I’m going to be sure to appreciate how far I’ve come. 
So fellow Mums, for every time you beat yourself up for forgetting to pack a spare outfit, or leaving an older child sitting waiting for food because you’ve been distracted with cleaning up the newborn. Or for every time you’ve panicked over what turned out to be the sniffles, or felt like people were staring at you when one, both or all kids are acting up. Please remember to also give yourself credit for all the things you’ve newly learnt how to do. All the fresh ways of living life as a parent that you’ve mastered. Having a shower, or leaving the house without incident may seem like small things but they are in fact the things that prove you can do it. It’s one hell of a learning curve and it comes without a manual but you CAN do it. Two weeks ago I couldn’t sit up without help, and I had a premature baby who I spent every second worrying about. We’re her lungs developed enough? Had her digestive system advanced as far as it needed to? Was she losing too much weight? And now only two weeks later, I’m walking around, and have been out to an Easter event with both kids and my husband! Don’t get me wrong I’m still worrying a lot but it’s not so all encompassing I can barely hold a conversation anymore! 
So if you’ve had a bad day or if you’re beating yourself up over having one of those days (especially when everyone else seems to know what they’re doing!), remind yourself of all the little victories you’ve achieved (and rest assured no-one ever really knows what they’re doing!) give yourself a smile and hold your head up high. We’re all getting there comrades!

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2 thoughts on “Sacred small steps…

  1. Orchard Carol (NHS GLOUCESTERSHIRE CCG)

    Another brilliant post. You’re doing incredible considering all the obstacles that have been put in your way. It’s not just the C-section, although that’s one mighty thing to get over, it’s everything else that you have had to go through. So well done for getting so far and doing it so brilliantly. As you say, we all remain amateurs when it comes to our children’s upbringing, we just do it and be the best we can. I would say that you’re doing a grand job ☺

  2. Congratulations on your little one, and your partner is sporting the greatest facial hair I have ever seen in my entire life. I am glad you managed to get out. For the first few months I was unable to leave the house, and it definitely played a huge part in my post natal depression. Now I am the proud owner of a reliable car, a season ticket to the local farm, and a baby who actually appreciates my company so it is a million times better. Good luck with your future ventures and I hope you’re managing to get some sleep in between parenting.

    http://Www.prettyinplaydough.com

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