Shared Spousal Support…


Some people just suit pregnancy, they glow, they enjoy the growing life inside of them and everything about the pregnancy just goes to show how natural they are at such a precious time. I have three close friends who were all varying degrees of pregnant whilst I have been, two of whom have now given birth; and although obviously no pregnancy is 24/7 glee and pleasure, my close friends all really suit pregnancy and look good doing it.
I, on the other hand…I’m a slightly different picture! I am epileptic, which plays up during especially the end stage of pregnancy. I have PCOS (polycystic ovaries, which can cause fertility problems which definitely hasn’t been the case for us but with it brings some less favourable factors). I have a bicornuate uterus (which means my uterus is an unusual shape, we’re extremely lucky that both our children as embryos ‘planted’ in a safe place so as to develop safely but they have still had less space in their first ‘home’). I also have weak kidneys, which were a small problem in my first pregnancy and have become a much bigger issue in my second. Added together, it’s a miracle really we’ve been able to have two healthy children!! And looking at it written down, frankly we’re really lucky to have only had the issues we have done. It’s funny really, all the issues we were aware of, and it’s the things we weren’t aware of that have caused the worse problems! ANYWAY, my point is, we’re very fortunate but I am not really naturally built for pregnancy. When my husband and I first dated, I even made him aware that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to have children given everything.
Based on the information and advice we were given after Scarlett was born, we opted for a small age gap between siblings. We knew pregnancies would be tough, but once we’ve passed that period, our family is complete and we can focus on the rest of our lives together as a four.
I’m envious of my three beautiful friends, and other friends who seem to have breezed through pregnancies. Don’t get me wrong, you never know what goes on behind closed doors and I know that everything was by no means as easy for them as I see them from a simplistic view. I also know that there are people all over the world that have a significantly worse time of it so I’m certainly not by any means trying to throw myself a pity party. 
Tonight my husband and I were looking at some old photos. Sometimes, with the bed rest, the confusion with the higher epilepsy medication I’m getting used to, the dashes to hospital and the helplessness we quite often feel; we forget that this time of our life is relatively short. Within two and a half years we’ve got that difficult time done. The pregnancy stage of our life (which isn’t the fun, whimsical time as advertised in the films). Even this coming Summer we can see long sunny days on the beach, travelling with our two children to nice places that a theatre tour we’re working on is going to. Happy times adventuring with friends and we also have a ski trip that we’ve had on the cards for a while. These plans will not happen within days or weeks of the baby being born, but my point is this. My husband and I remember laughing together until drink comes out of our noses, the sort of jokes with friends you talk about after the event that other people wonder what the hell you’re talking about! The fun times with our first child with several precious family trips! 
Today, however, we have been reminded that sitting in a bedroom, eating dinner from a tray and taking medication is not what our life is about. Lucid only some of the time with notes reminding me what’s going on each day, is not our permanent status. We’re lucky, life is hard at the moment because of a particular set of circumstances that have a distinct end date. Pregnancy is not something we’re going to miss, which is not something you’re supposed to admit. But in the same way that a marriage isn’t about the one wedding day; not having a riot during pregnancy has no reflection on how cherished your family is! Our official due date is 10th April, after that date (if we even manage to go to full term!) we will have finished that stage of our life. So although I have spent a lot of time recently feeling like I will never get outside again, (and/or feeling as high as a kite!) we are so nearly there and that has been very uplifting!
Today we were reminded that we have a truly wonderful life together and we have many happy years of manic, busy, magical ridiculousness ahead! 


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