In a few weeks, my husband and I will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. A whole year has passed since we said, ‘I do’. And WHAT a year! They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and in some ways, it has been incredibly hard, two operations, one kidney infection, one emergency c-section and of course the ridiculous journey of parenting! But it has been the most incredibly amazing first year of marriage!
The wedding was small, we took our immediate family to the beautiful Well Walk Tea Rooms in Cheltenham for afternoon tea and then we had an amazing stay in the beautiful Hotel Du Vin for two nights. The problem is, I was four months pregnant, and felt really quite ill, and through pregnancy my epilepsy reared it’s head (I refuse to say ugly head because my journey with epilepsy gave me an inherent strength I may never have been capable of without it). These two things mean that to be honest, the whole weekend was a bit of a blur. I have very few memories of it and not in the ‘oh it was such a whirlwind I barely remember the day’, but in a ‘I seriously don’t remember much’, kind of way. A couple of things stick out;
- Catching my fiances eye as I walked into the room before becoming his wife.
- Enjoying a glass of non alcoholic champagne whilst sitting in our adjoining baths in the luxury hotel room that night.
- At a party the next night, dancing to a song sung live by two very close friends who can’t possibly know how cherished that moment was to us.
- Having a family lunch a couple of days after with everyone who had travelled to come and celebrate with us.
I don’t wish to sound flippant or dismissive about the day, but I’ve always sort of thought that the legal part of getting married was rather unromantic ‘admin’, the government or the church gets you to promise things to each other that every other couple promise and in my eyes, that makes it a bit robotic. The promises we actually make to each other on deciding on a life together definitely wouldn’t be worded like they are in the government approved handbook. To me, the romance of a life together are the individual things that are only true of the two of you, the reasons you pick that one person to spend the rest of your life with, above all others.
On February 7th last year, we legally became man and wife, and it was a lovely day (from what I can remember!). HOWEVER, we are a couple who have always done things a bit differently to others and so when we were planning the wedding we always said that perhaps once I wasn’t pregnant, we could arrange something a bit more ‘us’ to symbolically celebrate our decision. Now we’re married, we can’t upset anyone by doing what we want and running off for a secret ceremony, we can’t break any laws by making promises that are truer to us than the ones dictated to us. In summary, we can have a second wedding!
I know I know, it’s usually just really rich people who have a second wedding, and renewals are supposed to be for people celebrating many years of marriage or people who get back together after a separation, we don’t fall under any of the regular categories. But that’s sort of why we’re doing it, we’re not in any regular categories, in anything we do in life! We can ‘get married’ every year of our lives if we want to (we’re not going to!). What we do want to do, now we’ve had a bit of time to breathe from the last whirlwind that was our 2014, is sit back, relax and organise an event that’s a bit more the two of us, make promises to each other and then celebrate without wondering if I’ll have to run to the toilets to throw up at a moments notice (well…unless of course I go a bit overboard on the celebrating! …no no come on now, no-one likes a trashy bride.).
Doing it again can’t take away from that day in February, and we will always raise a glass of champagne and do something together to celebrate the day we became man and wife. But being the dramatic people we are, we’re also going to add a date to the calendar to celebrate when we do it our way!