Following on from my last entry and to complete the update; the day after writing I was back at the hospital for more tests and the results came in. Scans showed that I had (again, not dinner eating friendly reading…apologies!) a rather large blood clot which wasn’t budging and some leftover placenta, both of which were causing quite a bit of pain as well as causing an infection of the womb lining. Quite the relief in one way as we finally had an answer for the pain, but it did mean that another minor operation was needed to remove everything that didn’t need to be there.
With a two week old, we were thankfully given a private room and my husband could ignore the visiting hours whilst I was taken down to the theatre and recovery to make sure our baby girl was affected as little as possible. Again I have to say, all the staff were brilliant and once the diagnosis was made, we then had only a couple of hours to wait before the op took place.
As I came round from the general anaesthetic just an hour after going under; I sent not one, not two, but a total of four members of the medical team to go and tell my husband that everything had gone well, ‘as he worries.’ I’m pretty sure if the first two nurses hadn’t reassured him, the second two probably did the job…! Also in my drug addled state, I held the anaesthetists hand telling him that we meant to write a letter to say thanks for how well we were treated by the c-section team (he had been our anaesthetist then as well!) he apparently assured me it wasn’t necessary but I insisted that this operation would be added in our thanks..!
Once fully back from the general anaesthetic haze, the midwives came and let us know that the op had successfully removed everything that didn’t need to still be present, and I got cuddles from my poor baby daughter who was desperate for a feed!
It had been a rather difficult week but realistically was sorted relatively quickly. However it did provide me with a wonderful moment of Motherhood. When I kissed my husband and baby goodbye, Scarlett seemed quite peaceful. Allegedly however, when I left, she became very agitated and difficult to settle. Now the more cynical amongst you could quite happily argue that with antibiotics already being passed into her system, and she may also have been able to pick up on Daddy’s more stressed and worried feelings, it’s understandable that she’d be more irritable.
However, after feeding her on my return, I then put her up against my chest to burp her as normal, and that’s when, for the first time, she grabbed hold of my hair in both hands and refused to let go. She had such a tight grip, I couldn’t turn my head to the left! It was almost as if she missed me when I’d been taken away and was now clinging on tight to make sure Mummy didn’t go anywhere again. It made me instantly well up and in that position we both happily stayed for the next few hours, with her staying content for the rest of the day and evening. And with Daddy by our side, despite the situation that had got us there, we were a very happy family unit indeed.
I’m now back home on a ridiculous amount of painkillers and antibiotics, recovering slowly but surely with, as ever, the tremendous support of our family and friends. And I’m now hoping for a bit more plain sailing to concentrate only on baby Scarlett. So that closes that particular post baby road bump!
However, as painful as Friday was, the moment that I suddenly felt like a mother that was desperately needed by her little girl is one I’ll remember forever. It’s a cliche, and I’ve said it before but life is made up of moments and for me, those little hands gripping onto me, tucked up close against me was one of the most magical moments of my life.